Pt. 14 Stay With Me - New Shoes

William and Brittany dropped the books in the open trunk of his car before setting off for Shane’s home.  He felt awkward with her in the car because he knew very little about her.  She had been one of the few, because of last name, that had rarely ended up in any of his classes.  She was a stranger to him.

She was different than everyone else too.  She stood out from the crowd but in a good way, humble almost.  She was tall, attractive, and sophisticated.  She had long, curly, blonde hair that was usually loose about her head.  She was popular but she wasn’t a cheerleader or a preppie.

She wore Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses but no one called her a snob.  She had been to Europe to visit all of the great cities. She was smart.  She studied Spanish and French.  She read books unrelated to classes in study hall.

She was a part of the Gay-Straight Alliance, yet there was little suspicion of her motives.  There could be no rumors.  She was a ‘straight ally’, because there had been rumors that she had been sexually active with at least two guys, neither of whom attended their school, rumors that weren’t denied, and no one said she was a whore.

Other girls had ruined reputations either because they had had sex with a guy at school or because they were rumored to have performed some sexual act like a blow job or a hand job but not her.  She had been and seen.  She was sociable but aloof.  She floated along with her own passions, her own abilities.

William had expected her to fidget and complain.  He thought she would play with her cell phone or read a book.  He thought she would complain that his car didn’t have power windows or that the backseat was filled with garbage.  He thought she would complain about his driving ability or give him directions but she did none of those things.  She rolled down the window and relaxed in the passenger seat.  She didn’t fidget.  She didn’t seem bothered and though her dark glasses covered her eyes William felt that she was present.  They were halfway there when he decided to start a conversation.

“So how do you know Shane?” he asked.  It was difficult to speak after such a long silence but once the words were out he felt better.

“I used to babysit him,” she said.  “His parents would have me come over and watch him, usually on Saturdays or evenings when they were home.”

“They were home but they needed a babysitter?  Isn’t that more like paying you to be his friend?”

“I guess, but not really, I mean they were busy.  Sometimes they left for different errands and things.  I was there to keep him entertained.  I thought of it mostly like a job but I really like him, you know, don’t get me wrong.  I’m glad you went to see him in the hospital.”

“Did he tell you about that?”

“Yeah, he mentioned it.”

William gulped at the answer because somehow he had expected his actions to go unnoticed, or at least untold.  Now there was a bond there between them, a friendship recognized by someone else.

“Did he mention anything else?”

She looked in his direction briefly before she looked away to the road ahead.  He could tell that she wanted to say something but was stopping herself.

“What?” he asked.

“Well,” she said before she rubbed her hand against the knee of her jeans, “he mentioned you guys have been texting back and forth and it’s really been keeping him in good spirits.”

“Really,” he said.  He wanted to follow up, ask more but he was silenced by his own happiness and then when he recognized that he was grinning a little he cleared his throat and changed his facial expression back to being serious.

“He’s a nice guy,” she said.

William nodded and a quick smile jerked at his lips before he caught himself.  He wanted to change the subject but his he couldn’t find a thought far enough away.

“I can’t believe Luke attacked him like that,” William said.

“Did you know Luke?”

“Not really,” William said.  “He fell in with the vocational studies crowd.  Did you?”

“Briefly in the seventh grade but he was such a dick head even back then I couldn’t stand him.  When he said it was a senior in his gym class I didn’t know who it was.  Did you?”

“No, why?  You thought he would do something like this?”

“I should have.  He used to brag about how one day he was going to bag himself a queer but no one knew what that meant back then.  I hadn’t thought about it in years.”

The phrase resounded in William’s ear and he felt his stomach clench.  He thought about Luke, the other boys in his class, the members that had been on his basketball team and it felt like blows to his psyche.  They would all hate him if they knew.  They would all hate him if they found out the truth, a truth he didn’t know how long he could hide.  Truth always comes out to the surface even in minor Freudian slips.

They didn’t talk for the rest of the drive, even as they got out of the car and retrieved the books there was barely an exchange of sounds until they reached the door and Shane welcomed them inside, dressed in his pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt.

Brittany let out a squeal of delight as she embraced him, took him in her arms, and squeezed until he stuck out his arms in surrender.  It was clearly the first time they had been together since the fight and William felt instantly jealous at their easy embrace.  What would it mean if he had tried for such a hug?  Was it something either of them were ready for?  He forced himself to smile when Shane looked to him and held up the books to signify the true reason for their visit.

“How are you doing?” she asked as she let him go.

He grunted through his teeth then held up his cell phone.

“Let’s get us on a group chat,” she said.

Shane nodded then walked away as he pressed buttons on his phone.  William and Brittany followed after him through the house to what was clearly his bedroom.

Brittany pulled out her phone and William was about to do the same when it buzzed in his pocket.  He gripped at it through his jeans to make it stop then pulled it out and opened it.  There was already two messages from Shane.

Hello.

Good to see you.

William was unable to type until he set the books down so he waited until they entered and then he signaled for a place to put them down and Shane pointed to his bed.  Brittany and William set the books down and Shane was quick to type into his phone.

Homework. Ugh.

William smiled.

“You thought you’d be able to get out of it,” William said.

“Well at least you don’t have to go to school,” Brittany added.

Shane mocked their humor with a raise of his shoulders and a roll of his eyes.

No one had anything to say right away and William took the time to look around the room.  There were shelves full of books, trinkets, and toys.  His desk was mostly clean with a single candle next to an open laptop with a screen saver displaying male athletes.  Brittany saw where he was looking.  Shane grinned then closed the laptop.

The room was organized but full.  The books were a mix of Western Canon and popular science fiction, with a few biographies, historical texts, and horror mixed in.

It had been too long since they had said something and Shane desperately wanted to start a conversation so he held up his finger to get their attention before he retrieved a shoe box from under his bed.  He set the box on his bed, opened it, and pulled out a brand new pair of sneakers with bright blue shoe strings.

“Nice shoes,” Brittany said.

“Those are some shoe laces,” William added.

Shane nodded then dropped them on the bed and picked up his phone, shortly after both William and Brittany’s phone rang with the same message.

Got them because my old one’s had blood on them from the fight.  Couldn’t get it to come out. Mom said she couldn’t send me back in them.