William drove home that night thinking about Shane’s face, the boys who had beaten him, and the fact that he had to go to school the next day. No one was looking to fight him, he thought, at least not attack him like that, at least he hoped not. But what was it that made them attack Shane? He hadn’t asked. He hadn’t been able to because Shane’s mother Anne was there and he wasn’t even sure that Shane was ‘out’ to his mother. He was out to everyone at school, at least in a subtle, insignificant way, though he had gotten bolder.
The shirt, he thought, it was because of the shirt. If he hadn’t worn that shirt then it could have been- he stopped himself from the conclusion to that thought because the shirt didn’t cause the fight- no, it was the boys, the fear and the homophobia, but that didn’t change anything because he was going to have to see those boys, see his friends, and then they were going to know. I never should have went, he thought, I wish I could take it all back.
That night he made his way to his bedroom, did his homework and fell asleep with a book in his hands until the morning when he was awoken by his alarm clock. It was a day just like any other but he felt sick, a little upset stomach and a headache. He decided to make the symptoms out to be worse than they were as he made his way to the kitchen where his parents sat eating cold cereal and grapefruit.
“I don’t feel so well,” he said. “Can I stay home?”
His father shrugged his shoulders and said he could. His mother didn’t seem to give it much thought until she got up to get more coffee and she moved to him as he sat on the kitchen stool. She felt his head with her hand.
“You don’t feel very warm,” she said.
“It’s my stomach,” he said.
“I don’t know,” she responded, “better take your temperature.”
“I have a headache too,” he added.
“A headache? Well, maybe things will change if you get moving. No nausea?”
He shook his head but regretted it instantly. Nausea was the one thing that could have gotten him out of going to school.
“Tough it out,” she said, “take a pill for your headache and get some good breakfast. I’ll write you a note about being late but I want you to go to school today.”
William felt worried by the prospect yet there was little he could do unless he just refused to go but then he would need an excused absence or else his parents would find out. He sighed.
“That’s the best we can do for you kid,” she said.
He got up and walked from the room. His mother moved back to the kitchen table where he heard his father ask:
“What do you think test today?”
“Yeah, probably just nerves but he’ll have to learn to get over it.”
William took a pill as his mother had recommended and decided to eat a small breakfast before heading to school where he sat through his first four classes going through the minimal interactions he needed to complete. He felt half asleep until he got to lunch where he sat at his usual table. A collection of preppies and jocks, boys and girls.
“Do you know Shane Farmer?”
William looked to the end of the table where his friend Brad sat.
“I heard he got his ass kicked yesterday because he offered to suck Luke Nash’s dick.” He let out a laugh that made William cringe.
“Really? He’s a faggot?” one of the girls asked.
“Apparently he’s in the Gay-Straight Alliance,” Brad said.
“We have a Gay-Straight Alliance?”
“Yeah, you know about that don’t you William?”
The rest of the table looked to William who stared down the table to Brad. He had to do something. He thought about defending himself by reiterating the second part of that title but he didn’t feel able to speak. He raised his hand and flicked him off. Brad laughed. The rest of the table laughed though they were confused about why. Had he really been there? Was he really gay?
“Put that bird away,” a strange adult voice said from off to the side by the wall, “before I find a cage for it in detention.”
William retracted his hand and looked to the wall where Mr. Wozniak stood with his arms crossed. Mr. Wozniak was his Trigonometry teacher, a man who liked giving detention and demerits but he also had a sense of humor especially about profanity. He would be on thin ice for the rest of the day, possibly the rest of the week. Brad began to laugh even more making William look back in his direction.
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