Pt. 3 Stay With Me- William, GSA

The whole drive home different thoughts kept popping into William’s head.  Pale buttocks, night swimming, skinny dipping... why had he said so much?  Why did he say anything about trying out for the swim team?  Or much less about his banana hammock and what exactly did that mean?  Shane’s house was nice, much nicer than he had expected, much nicer than his own.  He didn’t live in a shack but it felt more like ‘the Burrow’ from the Harry Potter books than Shane’s house.  A humble three bedroom house where he shared a room with his younger brother by six years and his baby sister had her own room.  

Banana hammock?  Really he asked himself.  All his thoughts came to an end when he flipped on the turn signal to enter the drive back to his house.  A slow roll along a familiar gravel, dirt road around pot holes and cautious of crossing deer and wildlife though he still went ten miles faster than his father told him to ever drive.  He slowed as his home came into view and he pulled into the parking spot where he killed the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt.  Just minutes ago he had driven Shane home and now the car seat was empty.  

He pulled his phone from his pocket and looked through the messages as he retrieved his bag from his backseat.  The messages were all from Brad and they all bragged about him being alone with two girls in his house.

William pulled his bag against his back before dialing Brad as he walked to his front door.  Both his parents were at work and his brother and sister were still at daycare but he knew he had to get dinner started before everyone got home.  

“Hey man what’s going on?” Brad asked.

“Just unlocking my door,” William said.

“Just getting home?  Where you been?  Dude I got two fine chicks at my place and- ouch, hey quit it--”

“--Who’s there?” William asked pushing open his own front door.

“Just Rachel and Nadine but we’re playing strip poker-, ow, hey that’s not funny.  We’re not actually playing strip poker but we’re watching a movie.  My parents aren’t due home for another four hours or so.”

“Sounds like fun,” William said.  He made his way into the kitchen where he turned on the oven, checked it for pots and pans then closed the oven door before heading back to his own room.  “So what are you watching?”

“Some movie with Ashton Kutcher.  It’s a total chick flick and he’s been shirtless like twice now and I don’t know man I’ve got a chubby going on so I think I might be turning gay.  Either that or it’s the two hot babes I have in my house.  Ow, that hurts.”

“Rachel and Nadine picked the movie?”

“Whatever works,” Brad said.

“Well I hope that works out for you,” William said.  He wanted to hang up but he knew Brad had more to say and this was just step one in the process of getting him off the phone so he pressed the speaker button before setting the phone on his dresser and beginning to change out of his school clothes and into a pair of shorts and and old t-shirt.

“Dude, so where were you.  It turns out that they wanted you to come by after school.  They were almost disappointed it was just me until I told them they could watch anything they wanted on the Pay-Per-View account.”

He had to say something.  But he had already said he just got home.  “I was at school.  I uh, ended up at the library doing some extra studying.”

“Dude there’s not even any tests and you're not a geek or a nerd,” Brad said.  “And you totally ignored my text messages.”

“Well it was more interesting.”

“What was more interesting?  Did you lose internet again and stayed after to look at porn?”

“No way, besides the computers at school have the Net-Nanny and my computer at home, I disabled all of that long ago so I don’t even let my little brother on there.  He has to use the one in the living room where my parents can keep an eye on him”

“Dude that’s harsh.  Your brother is like thirteen now and must be getting a hard-on all the time.  He must really be keeping you up at night.”

“That’s sick dude.  And he’s twelve and he doesn’t do that.”

“Maybe he does and you can’t hear it,” Brad said.  “Maybe he jerks off into your socks at night.  Ow, he really that hurts.”

“Who hit you this time?”

“Rachel, she keeps punching me in the arm.  I think the girl is a lesbian because she can really swing.  Don’t do it Rachel.”

There was a thud and Brad yelled out in pain then clatter as William was sure the phone fell to the floor.  A scramble, more noise then a new voice.  It was Nadine.

“Brad can’t come to the phone right now because him and Rachel are wrestling in the middle of the living room.  She’s got him in a headlock and it doesn’t look like she is going to let go.”

William picked up his phone and changed it back from speaker before walking from his room.  “How’s it going Nadine?”

“Fine and your self?”

“Okay,” he said pulling open the freezer door.  He pulled out the lasagna and began to open the box.

“You weren’t really at the library were you?” she asked.

“What?  No, I mean yeah, I mean why?”

“Nothing,” she said.  “Hey I got to go before these two mount each other and it gets too disgusting.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Later,” William responded.

“Yeah,” Nadine said before ending the call.

Not at the library?  Did she know something?  It could have been Rodney.  He sent a message to someone who sent a message to someone and what did he have to lose he showed up with his girlfriend.  Only queers show up alone... No, that wasn’t right he had to come up with a reason why he was there.  He was a straight ally, he thought, that wasn’t really a lie because he wasn’t necessarily gay.  People might assume that but they also knew he was a nice guy and liked to help out.  Was it such a leap between the two?

Pt. 2 Stay With Me- GSA William

Two weeks had gone by and William nearly forgot about the ‘Gay Straight Alliance’ meeting until it was time to go again.  He hadn’t seen any of the members since then and he was glad.  He didn’t even have to go back if he didn’t want to.  It could have been a fluke, some misunderstanding lost and forgotten.  If anyone asked he could have said he walked into the wring room and wanting to be PC about it he stuck around and played nice but it wasn’t really his thing.  That’s all it could have been but it wasn’t the truth.  He didn’t know what the truth was.  But was it wrong to ask?

The best of the days was when he got involved in the classes, in the assignments or playing basketball during gym class and he forgot about the end of the day.  But it was like riding an uncontrollable wave because suddenly it would be back, the thought would be back and he kept debating about what to do.

In his last class he stuffed his book in his bag and thought for a moment to come up with some other plan, someplace else he had to be, some excuse to not be where he wanted to be.  He pulled his phone from his pocket and texted Brad who was usually up for a game of basketball if he wanted to play or just hang out but Brad turned him down on the spot.  “No can do,” he responded.

William pulled his book-bag over his shoulder and made his way down the hall his feet leading him back to Mrs. Gallagher’s classroom.  He entered and made his way to the back of the room where Mrs. Gallagher and Shane had already arranged the desks with enough for William to have joined.

“We’re glad you made it back,” Mrs. Gallagher said.  It was a pretty lame thing to say but somehow her tone or her affectation was convincing and not sentimental.

“Thanks,” William said before taking a seat.

Soon after Brittany showed.  She was distressed about her Algebra test grade.  She immediately began to talk about it.  William was bored in an instant but Mrs. Gallagher humored her.  Shane smirked at William and they both laughed silently about how little they could pay attention to Brittany but about how she could keep talking.  They’re not friends, William thought.  So who started the group?  

Shane and William began to mock Brittany sharing some secret, public joke when William noticed out of the corner of his eye two new people entering the room.  At first he thought it was the two Heathers but when he looked more closely he found it was one of the Heathers and she was holding hands with a boy.  William recognized him immediately and his stomach sunk.  He didn’t know his name but he knew he was a freshman on the basketball team.  Everyone looked to the new guest.

“This is my boyfriend Rodney,” Heather One said.  “We’ve been dating since the seventh grade.”

William sat back and crossed his arms.  He was sure his face was bright red with embarrassment.  Not only was he on the basketball team but he was confirmed, provably straight, dragged here by his girlfriend.  If he could have run he would have.  Man up, he thought, it doesn’t mean anything.

“Join us we were just about to begin,” Mrs. Gallagher said.

Rodney sat at the desk next to Heather One and continued to hold her hand.  

“So it looks like Heather Two isn’t coming,” Mrs. Gallagher said.  “Maybe we should start.”

“So does this mean I can go back to just Heather,” Heather one asked.

“Sure,” Mrs. Gallagher said.

“Now does anyone have anything to say?”

They looked at each other.  William decided he definitely wasn’t going to say anything.  If he opened his mouth he didn’t know what would come out and if it happened to be sound he wasn’t sure what the quality would be.

“Maybe some introductions?” Mrs. Gallagher asked.  She gestured around the room then said, “I’ll go first.”  She quickly introduced herself and he role.

“I’m Shane.”

“I’m Heather.”

“I’m Rodney.”

William looked around and then squeezed his toes into fists before saying, “I’m William.”

“Now does anyone have anything to share?”

“Yeah,” Shane said.  “There’s this guy in my gym class.  He’s one of the few seniors in there and he’s kind of started this campaign against me.  Mostly he just picks on me for being short and skinny but today he was making fun of my pale butt.  I guess he saw it while I was changing and it was kind of weird.  I mean guys kid each other but this guy has a hard-on for me or something.”

They had been with him until he said ‘hard-on’ and then everyone cringed in their own way.  William was sure that anywhere else there would have been a million jokes about how Shane secretly wanted the guy.  He was surprised when Rodney began to speak until he heard all that he had to say.

“It’s true that guys just kid around.  I mean it doesn’t have to mean anything.  In the locker room after a game lots of things happen and lots of jokes are made.  But like, it doesn’t mean anyone is gay.  It’s not like I assume anyone here is gay or that anyone is gay just because they look or act a certain way.”

“So it doesn’t mean anything?”

“No, I mean it doesn’t have to.  It’s like all these revisionist historians saying people are gay for some reason or another.”

“Dude, that is the lamest thing you could have said.  Revisionist historians?  Where do you get your news from FOX?”

Shane and Rodney stared at each other.  Shane was ready to go head to head with him but it was a fight William was sure he wouldn’t win.  William inhaled deeply readying himself to say something when Mrs. Gallagher spoke up.

“Guys this isn’t the place to argue or debate.  I think what Shane is trying to say is that he feels intimidated by this older boy and it’s not necessarily about being gay or straight but that it isn’t a one time incident.  You said this has happened several times.  Have you thought about going to the teacher?”

“No way,” Shane said.

“Yeah,” Rodney agreed.  “It’s between guys.  You need to just tell him to back off.”

“Is that possible?” Mrs. Gallagher asked.

“Maybe but he’s like a senior and he’s much bigger I think he’d kick my ass.”

“Shane,” Mrs. Gallagher said.

“What, I’m just saying.  He would.”

“Anyone else have thoughts about how he can deal with this?”

“Kick him in the nuts,” Heather said.

Everyone laughed.  And in that fit of laughter William’s phone buzzed to let him know he received a text message.  Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible he pulled the phone from his pocket and flipped it open.

A message from Brad: “Dude where you at?”

Maybe he wanted to hang out after all?

He looked around to the rest of the group but only Shane was staring back at him and he suddenly felt embarrassed for being rude.  He was about to close his phone when he saw a second message that said: “chics at my house bring da beer.”  William smiled because he knew that Brad didn’t really mean beer but he was curious about who he was hanging out with.  He wanted to answer back but as everyone else started talking again he closed his phone and put it back in his pocket.  He received three more messages before they stopped.  

At the end of the meeting Heather left with Rodney still holding hands and Brittany was quick to follow them.  

“Two years and they are still attached at the hip,” Shane said.  

William laughed.  He wanted to stick around and he sensed that Shane wanted to say something so he decided to go slow.

Mrs. Gallagher dragged her desk back to one of the aisles then asked the boys to help put the other desks back to which they obliged.  Shane followed William to the classroom door and they were about to enter the hallway when he said, “I will never understand straight people.”  William let out a little laugh and looked back to Shane who smirked back.  So there it was a confession.

“You’re a dangerous one,” William said.

“Yeah, well maybe I’m just not safe.”

And they fell into conversation easily all the way to the parking lot when William suddenly realized at fourteen Shane couldn’t possibly own a car and was just following him to keep talking.  William made his way around the car tot he driver’s side door, opened it but stood with the door against his backside as they continued to talk over the top of the car.

“Do you live around here?” William finally asked interrupting the flow of the conversation.

“Yeah, it’s not far.  It’s a little walk.”

William was about to say goodbye but decided on a whim to say the opposite and invited to drive Shane home.

“It would be silly,” Shane said.

“Come on,” William said.  “It’ll be fine.”

William unlocked the car doors and made quick work of clearing the passenger seat and footwell of trash and dirty clothes that he threw into the backseat.  Shane pulled open the door, sat, and buckled up.

But it was difficult to start a conversation again and Shane only spoke to give directions which William followed.  A path or turns and winding roads through suburbia until Shane pointed out his house and William pulled up into the driveway.  

“It’s actually not that far when I walk because I take shortcuts,” Shane said.

“It’s not a problem,” William replied.

“So this is it,” Shane said.

“Yep,” William replied.

William looked up to the house.  It was a large, planned model with an electric garage door, two stories, but looked very different from the houses around it so he knew it was a recent addition.  Everything else was at least fifty years old.  They were different shapes and styles but this house looked like something out of a magazine.

“Nice house,” William said.  “It’s better than mine.”

“Thanks,” Shane said.  “It even has a pool in the backyard.  A small above ground one but it’s a pool you know.”

“Definitely,” William said.

“Hey sometime you want to go swimming...”

“You just want to see me in my trunks,” William said.

“More like your Speedo,” Shane said.

“My banana hammock?  No one gets to see that except once when I tried out for the swim team in the seventh grade.”  They both laughed.  “Of course they said it was supposed to help us swim but I was afraid the thing would slip off the whole time.”

“Not that it leaves much to the imagination,” Shane said.

“Exactly, I mean what’s the deal with those things anyway?  You’re in seventh grade, the height of puberty poppin’ wood three times a day just because your body wants to and they make you wear that little thing.”

They laughed.

“When I was little and my parents could only afford a plastic pool for the front yard they wanted me to swim in my underwear but I was so embarrassed.  I was more embarrassed then they were,” Shane said.  “But now, when I get the chance I swim naked.”  They laughed more.  “I just keep a towel by the pool in case someone comes home unexpectedly but it’s a lot of fun.”

“I’ve never done that,” William said.

“Skinny dipping is the best.  And of course there is that R.E.M. song Nightswimming that just says it all.”

“I never heard that song,” William said.

“You have to,” Shane said.  “Have you heard any of R.E.M.?”

William shook his head.

“Are you on Facebook?  Friend me and I’ll send you my messenger details that way I can send you MP3’s.”

“Really?” William asked.

“Definitely,” Shane said.

“Yeah okay,” William replied.

They were still grinning at each other sharing in that common joke of how foolish they were acting with each other.  Laughing too much at what the other person said.

“Well I have to get going,” Shane said.

“Yeah me too,” William replied.  “But I will send you a friend request tonight when I get home.”  

Shane began to exit the car and William’s pocket began to vibrate.  He pulled out his phone and flipped it open to see seven text messages from Brad.  He waved to Shane who quickly made his way into his house and closed the door before he put his phone away and shifted into reverse.

Pt. 1 Stay With Me- William GSA

At 6’2’’ William towered over most of his classmates.  It was the beginning of his senior year and he was happy about several things.  The first that it was his last year of school.  There was this strange awareness on his part that it was a rite of passage.  The second was college.  He worried about the application process but he had managed to keep his grades up so he wasn’t worried about not getting in somewhere.  Ivy League to him wasn’t even a possibility, state college or liberal arts college were more his league.  His last year would be the toughest for GPA but he knew a tutor or two that would help.  

Being tall meant he had been recruited for freshman basketball while in junior high.  A power forward with speed and an aggressive instinct he loved to go for the rebounds and when he could dominate that part of the court but he was lousy at free throws so the other team fouled him when they could.  He wanted to enjoy this last year because it was coming to an end and no matter how tall he was here he knew he would be short anywhere else.  He didn’t even plan to try for an athletic scholarship despite his coach’s and his parent’s urging.  They told him to ride the bench if he had to but he didn’t want to be there, not in college.  He didn’t want to have to practice and train, to be the starting team’s whipping boy.  Plus he was done with playing semi-professionally.  All of the macho egoism would be too much.  If it was this bad in high school it had to be worse in college, he thought.

Everything was set.  He could see all the bumps in the road, the hills, the distance.  It wasn’t going to be easy but it was all possible.  Smooth sailing, he thought, just one thing.  He didn’t know why he did it.  His spine burned when ge got the flyer earlier that day and his brain almost shut down.  He looked back at the elfish looking freshman with bracelets and necklaces, corduroy shirt and shaggy hair and he was confused.  It was a flyer for a ‘Gay-Straight Alliance After School Club.”  His feet were heavy but he kept walking.  What did it mean?  How had he been reduced to this?  Was there some truth there?  Some truth about what?  

When he saw his classmates he knew he had to get rid of the incriminating evidence so he tucked it into his bag.  Why didn’t he throw it away? he thought.  But he didn’t.  And when his teammate Devin showed him his own flyer he was relieved for a moment until Devin crumpled it and threw it in the trash can then began to make fun of the organization.  “What next,” he asked, “a club for beastiality?”

William laughed along and he almost forgot about the flyer until the last period when he was cramming his books in his bag and it made a weird sound at the bottom of his bag.  He pulled out the flyer and began to walk.  Back and forth, lost in his thoughts, the flyer just had the classroom number and somehow he managed to find his way there.  8215, Mrs. Gallagher’s class, she would be involved with something like this, he thought.  He stopped outside the door, almost turned back.  What if it was a set-up?  What if it was a bunch of kids in there looking to beat him up?  He was about to run away and that’s when he found the courage.  If he was going to run away then it was something worth fighting for, he thought.  It didn’t have to mean anything.  He turned back on his heels and went straight for the door handle.  He pulled open the door and stepped inside.  He heard a few voices already in conversation and was ready to turn back again when they stopped and he looked to the back of the classroom where five people sat in a half-circle.

Mrs. Gallagher, three girls, and the elfish boy all looked to him.  

“Uh,” he said, “I’m here for the um, I’m here for the...” he didn’t want to say the word, that bad word, “the club.”

“Pull up a chair,” the elfish boy said.

“Welcome to our club,” Mrs. Gallagher added.

She had been his 9th grade history teacher and she was always including the plight of oppressed people in her lectures.  She talked about the Jews in World War II, the Indians during colonization, the oppressed peoples of Mexico during the Mexican-American War.  He had always liked her and he had gotten straight A’s in her class.

He made his way to the back of the room where he adjusted his book-bag before pulling a desk to where they sat.  He didn’t recognize the girls but he presumed they were friends of the other boy, and they might be lesbians but they looked pretty straight to him.  No, they were probably friends.  That meant the elfish boy had to be gay.  He looked pretty gay.  William adjusted himself in his seat with his long legs stuck out awkwardly from under the desktop.

“So what are you?” the boy asked.

William looked up and looked him right in the eye.  In one question he cut to the heart of the fear.  He didn’t know if he wanted to run or fight.

“Shane that’s not very polite,” Mrs. Gallagher said with her familiarly stern voice.  “There are no labels here.”

William forced a smile and looked around at the girls who began to eye him with some noticeable curiosity.  Play it cool, he thought, no need to give up everything on the first date.  They may just think he is a gay and be his best friend or else secretly wish he was straight and it could lead to dating.  That would be a weird way to meet a girlfriend.

“So what’s your name?” one of girls asked.

“William,” he said.  “What’s your name?”

“Brittany,” she said.  “And this is Heather One and Heather Two.”

“Heather One and Heather Two?”

“They are both named Heather so we gave them a number.”

Heather One shrugged and said it worked for her.

“That’s interesting,” he replied.

“Otherwise it gets into a lot of confusion.”

There was an awkward silence as everyone looked to Shane.

“What, you know my name,” he said gesturing to himself.

“But you haven’t introduced yourself,” Mrs. Gallagher said.  “William I remember you from freshman class.  You were a really good student.”

“Thanks,” William said.

Shane sat back and crossed his arms.  

“I’m Shane,” he said.

They stared at each other for a moment before Shane looked away to his desk.

“We were just talking about the Day of Silence for next April and other things we can do to support each other and raise awareness for gays and lesbians on campus.”

William nodded his head and they fell into silence again.  Mrs. Gallagher continued to talk and soon Brittany, Heather One and Heather Two began to join the conversation but Shane only nodded or agreed with what they said.  After another twenty minutes Mrs. Gallagher dismissed them.  William moved for the door quickly and as he exited he looked back and forth before entering the hallway.